Welcome, friends. I'm Britney.
-insert something witty and pithy that makes me seem a lot cooler than i really am-
Just your friendly neighborhood Cuban Smartass. California. Post-grad. Whatever. I enjoy Disneyland and famous men way out of my league. I also enjoy all forms of humor and it takes very little to keep me amused. Please enjoy your stay. _______________________________________

Questions? Comments? Concerns?
Don't be afraid to leave a lil' something in my ask :)

Guardians of the Galaxy was SO GOOD I did not think id love it this much but ughhhh go see ittttttt

The older i get the more i realize that i am turning into Ron Swanson


i despise country music so hard like i will be singing any song at the top of my lungs but as soon as someone turns on country music i sit down and fold my arms and don’t make eye contact with anyone

chasertiff asked: Hey lady I got tagged in a 10 facts thing and have to tag 10 people so post 10 facts goooo



1. I’m a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding on Saturday! Not as exciting as it sounds and the entire thing makes me want to elope tbh

2. My best friend moved back here after 5 excruciating years in the frozen tundra of Colorado and in a year we will hopefully both be in New York!

3.oh yeah I’ll be going to NY for school in fall 2015 for my masters in school psychology hollaaaaaa

4. Currently attempting to get another job since my summer job ended last week- preferably selling my soul to the Mouse (aka Disneyland cast member) or aide in a kindergarten-2nd grade class. But pretty much anything that will give me a steady income I’m all for at this point.

5. I’m an only child with a large family.

6. I do this one all the time but I was in karate for 8 years (age 8-16) and a black belt and always say I’ll go back to my studio but I never have the guts to. But I do miss it sometimes and pull out my old weapons and see how rusty I am.

7. I’m suuuuuuper lazy which is why I didn’t excel in school as much as I should have. I mean, my grades where decent, but I could have been a 4.8 student if I really wanted to. But I didn’t.

8. I can’t actually read music, but I have a great ear which almost makes up for it. But not really.

9. I attended a private catholic all-girls high school and tbh it was the best thing my parents have ever done for me.

10. Seriously, I didn’t drink until I was 21, because a) i didn’t honestly think I was missing out on all that much b) my family wasn’t super strict about drinking once you were 18 and my dad let me sip the foamy part of his beer from age 6 so no desire to rebel, and c) I knew it would be just my luck getting caught with a fake id or at a party.
Now the story is different but I don’t regret waiting.


7-year-old student: Are you a mom?
Me: No, not yet.
Student: When will you be a mom?
Me: When I get married!
Student: When will that be?
Me: When I find the right guy to marry!
Student: When will you find the right guy to marry?
Student: ....oh. Okay.